I found this link over at Slatt’s blog.
I have seen something similar before, although I can’t remember where. But it sums up my personal views very well. The entire speech is in the extended post area below if you’re not interested in viewing comments over at Free Republic.
It is really about time for our President to say something similar, especially in regard to Mexico and the UN.
What if President Bush gave this speech?
My fellow Americans:
As you all know, the defeat of Iraq’s regime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.
This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American Forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.
Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom, Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.
The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world’s Nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.
Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.
The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption. Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic?
Call France.
In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home.
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the Earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize?
Try France, or maybe China.
To Israel and the Palestinian Authority. Yo, boys. Work out a peace deal now. Just note that Camp David is closed. Maybe all of you can go to Russia for negotiations. They have some great palaces there. Big tables, too.
I’m ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany, and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis.
I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don’t care about whatever treaty pertains to this. Pay your tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers, and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York.
A special note to our neighbors.
Canada is on List 2. Since we are going to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.
Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I’m gonna put ’em? Yep, border security. So start doing something with your oil. Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty—starting now.
It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens.
Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them be saying darn tootin’. Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet.
It is time to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It is time to eliminate World Cup soccer from America.
To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you.
To the nations on List 2, a final thought. Drop dead.
God bless America.
Thank you and good night.
The real world:
US Foreign Aid, 2002: US$12.9bn
Cost of the Iraqi war so far: US$113.6bn
United States trade deficit, 2003: $490bn.
Go ahead and cut off relations with those list 2 countries. Without their foriegn capital propping up your economy, you’re looking at another Great Depression.
Comment by a Phoenician in a time of Romans — May 13, 2004 @ 1:56 pm
I don’t know how the Palestinians or Egyptians support our economy, and we send them a combined $3 billion each year. Perhaps you can explain this powerful influence.
Comment by Bunker — May 13, 2004 @ 4:45 pm
Perhaps you didn’t read your own post, which talked about cutting off relations with France and Germany. Not to mention China.
But I can offer one very powerful influence…
“Egypt: REUTERS: Today, the Arab League announced a policy of pricing all future oil contracts by member countries in Euros rather than US dollars. Trading against the Euro, the US dollar droped 15% before trading was halted in New York. This is expected…”
Comment by a Phoenician in a time of Romans — May 13, 2004 @ 10:25 pm
Talking different things, now; Foreign Aid and trade deficit. None of the countries you cite receive direct foreign aid, to my knowledge. And we run a huge trade deficit with China. I don’t know how much it would affect consumers here if we blocked all imports from China, but prices would certainly climb. And there would be some things no longer available.
Perhaps the change to Euros will help. Maybe it will hurt. It all depends on how well the EU’s economy fares. The strength of the dollar has always been US stability. Whether the EU can match that remains to be seen. Everyone in the world wants dollars, and black markets turn over billions each year.
Comment by Bunker — May 14, 2004 @ 12:24 am
Talking different things, now; Foreign Aid and trade deficit.
Not at all – the piece was talking about cutting off relations with the world (or the “List 2” countries). The American economy as it currently stands depends on an inflow of capital from those countries.
And you’re ignoring the fact that the size of your foreign aid is only 13 billion, whereas the Iraqi war has so far cost over 110 billion.
None of the countries you cite receive direct foreign aid, to my knowledge.
Which part of the phrase “unintended consequences” do you not understand?
And we run a huge trade deficit with China. I don’t know how much it would affect consumers here if we blocked all imports from China, but prices would certainly climb. And there would be some things no longer available.
Not to mention the multiplier effects.
Perhaps the change to Euros will help. Maybe it will hurt.
It’ll hurt. That the US Dollar is the global reserve currency is essentially a vast free loan from teh rest of the world to the US. If the Euro is used instead, or as well, you lose that free capital.
The strength of the dollar has always been US stability.
Then you’re in trouble.
You might find “After the Empire” by Emmanual Todd worth reading.
Comment by Phoenician in a time of Romans — May 14, 2004 @ 1:09 am
I may pick it up. From what I see in the reviews, the author assumes, as do most Europeans, that the US is in search of empire. We learned our lesson in 1898+ after the war with Spain. The current war is simply an outgrowth of failing to act previously, not an attempt to build an empire. Americans are more likely to withdraw rather than expand,
Comment by Bunker — May 14, 2004 @ 7:24 am
I may pick it up. From what I see in the reviews, the author assumes, as do most Europeans, that the US is in search of empire.
Define “US” in this context. There’s nothing incoherent in stating that most Americans regard the US as a largely self-involved republic, yet the US acts on the rest of the world and is perceived as a form of empire.
We learned our lesson in 1898+ after the war with Spain.
Oh yes? Would you care to hazard a guess at how many countries you currently maintain military bases and/or station troops in?
The current war is simply an outgrowth of failing to act previously, not an attempt to build an empire.
Oh, rubbish. The current war is a war of choice against a country which was no threat and nothing to do with the attack by Al Qaeda. I’m not sure why it was chosen, although exerting more direct control over an increasingly important oil reserve undoubtably plays a part.
You chose to attack Iraq, to kill Iraqis, to occupy a country that doesn’t want you there. This is why the world doesn’t support you – you’re the bad guys in this instance.
Americans are more likely to withdraw rather than expand,
What do the following places have in common: Turkey, Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Bahrain, Qatar, the United Arab Emirates, Oman, Ethiopia, Pakistan, Uzbekistan, Tajikistan and Kyrgyzstan, as well the island of Diego Garcia?
Comment by a Phoenician in a time of Romans — May 14, 2004 @ 11:44 am
Thank you for playing.
Comment by Bunker — May 14, 2004 @ 2:26 pm
Oh, I’ll continue to play, though.
I would like to know the source of info that shows that the US only puts out $12.9 billion in foreign aid. Is this direct funding to specific countries (such as the $2 billion we give to NORTH KOREA for food), or combined with all of the world-wide support organizations the United States funds (22% of the UN’s operating budget)?
Man, we keep bases in a lot of countries, too. But how many of them want us to leave? Puerto Rican nationalists wanted the Navy to stop using the island, so we did. Then we closed the base. But that’s not what they wanted. They needed the jobs. The same thing happens to European communities when we close and realign our bases overseas.
The farce Europeans tell themselves is that they can compete with the United States economically. The “stability” that the EU currently enjoys will not last. France, Belgium, and Germany are already angering smaller member countries. There are already fractions developing. Don’t worry, we’ll move in with fairer trade policies when it collapses on itself.
And the last time I checked, California had the fifth best economy in the world, higher than France. The EU combined is still trying to catch the United States. Any recession that hits us affects other countries far greater in the long run, as it is US capital that buys goods in other countries allowing their economies to expand.
And, sure, the first campaign in the Gulf War had a lot to do about the flow of oil. But anyone who has an ounce of objectivity should be able to see that the present campaign is more about security and ideology than anything else. We did choose to go to this war, but it is because we are not so blind that we can’t see that there is a link between governments that train and support terrorists and bad guys eventually showing up on our doorstep again. Blah, blah, no WMD, yadda, yadda, yadda… Matter of time, and I don’t want my kid on a field trip to DC when it gets hit by a nuke.
And remember, Phoenician, we left Saudi Arabia. Plus, we were invited to all of the rest of those countries, with the exception of Iraq. Imperial forces are not invited in…
Comment by Slice — May 16, 2004 @ 3:07 pm
Wasting oxygen on a troll, Bo.
Comment by Bunker — May 16, 2004 @ 7:55 pm
Perhaps there will be money left over for some remedial math tutoring as well?
Freepers and their friends give us a look into their fantasy world: I have seen something similar before, although I can’t remember where. But it sums up my personal views very well. The entire speech is in the extended post…
Trackback by Sadly, No! — May 13, 2004 @ 10:38 am