Bunker Mulligan "Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." ~Mark Twain

March 27, 2004

UN Action

Filed under: International — Bunker @ 6:50 pm

I went to Best Buy today to check on a scanner and CD-RW for my dad. While there, I saw Life of Brian on DVD for ten bucks. I bought it, and just finished watching it. There are many tremendous scenes that reflect the current state of culture in the Middle East. But one scene really hits home regarding the UN. Brian has been taken to be crucified, and his girlfriend wants the People’s Front of Judea to do something about it.

REG: Right. Now, uh, item four: attainment of world supremacy within the next five years. Uh, Francis, you’ve been doing some work on this.
FRANCIS: Yeah. Thank you, Reg. Well, quite frankly, siblings, I think five years is optimistic, unless we can smash the Roman empire within the next twelve months.
REG: Twelve months?
FRANCIS: Yeah, twelve months. And, let’s face it. As empires go, this is the big one, so we’ve got to get up off our arses and stop just talking about it!
COMMANDOS: Hear! Hear!
LORETTA: I agree. It’s action that counts, not words, and we need action now.
COMMANDOS: Hear! Hear!
REG: You’re right. We could sit around here all day talking, passing resolutions, making clever speeches. It’s not going to shift one Roman soldier!
FRANCIS: So, let’s just stop gabbing on about it. It’s completely pointless and it’s getting us nowhere!
COMMANDOS: Right!
LORETTA: I agree. This is a complete waste of time.
[Sound of Door Opening]
JUDITH: They’ve arrested Brian!
REG: What?
COMMANDOS: What?
JUDITH: They’ve dragged him off! They’re going to crucify him!
REG: Right! This calls for immediate discussion!
COMMANDO #1: Yeah.
JUDITH: What?!
COMMANDO #2: Immediate.
COMMANDO #1: Right.
LORETTA: New motion?
REG: Completely new motion, eh, that, ah– that there be, ah, immediate action–
FRANCIS: Ah, once the vote has been taken.
REG: Well, obviously once the vote’s been taken. You can’t act another resolution till you’ve voted on it…
JUDITH: Reg, for God’s sake, let’s go now!
REG: Yeah. Yeah.
JUDITH: Please!
REG: Right. Right.
FRANCIS: Fine.
REG: In the– in the light of fresh information from, ahh, sibling Judith–
LORETTA: Ah, not so fast, Reg.
JUDITH: Reg, for God’s sake, it’s perfectly simple. All you’ve got to do is to go out of that door now, and try to stop the Romans’ nailing him up! It’s happening, Reg! Something’s actually happening, Reg! Can’t you understand?! Ohhh!
[slam]
REG: Hm. Hm.
FRANCIS: Oh, dear.
REG: Hello. Another little ego trip for the feminists.
LORETTA: What?
FRANCIS: [whistling]
REG: Oh, sorry, Loretta. Ahh, oh, read that back, would you?

Typical UN “action.”

2 Comments

  1. That’s just as good as the part:

    “What have they ever done for us”
    “Besides the roads, the aquaducts, the education, the medicine, the security…nothing!”

    Comment by Slice — March 27, 2004 @ 9:29 pm

  2. You and Lileks think alike this weekend:
    http://www.lileks.com/bleats/archive/04/0304/032904.html

    Comment by Sarah — March 28, 2004 @ 11:34 pm

RSS feed for comments on this post.

Sorry, the comment form is closed at this time.

Powered by WordPress