“He’s such a good boy.”
“He’s always been so good with children.”
“I cannot imagine him ever doing something like that.”
“He even put up a sign in the neighborhood that says ‘Watch out for children playing’.”
An 11-year-old girl has been found dead. She was abducted and murdered. Now, the man in custody is remembered by family and neighbors with the same lines we’ve all heard many times before. Every defendant in a case such as this has similar things said about him/her.
Are people in total denial, or is someone like this simply smart enough to play the game before hand so people will say such things about him? We like to think the best of people, but there comes a time when it just isn’t right. Nobody wants to believe their neighbor is capable of such actions, but sometimes they are. Was he really turning his life around as some have said, or just waiting for an opportunity?
In cases like this, I believe there needs to be immediate justice. If found guilty, he needs to be executed soon after. Let the appeals process last no more than a month or two, then be done with it.
Unless we allow “child molesters” to recover and heal themselves, we will never solve the problem of child abuse. I think victims of child abuse, myself included, should find ways to get over the anger and hurt in ways that support healing for both ourselves and the perpetrators. As long as society has this hypocritical judgemental labelling going on with people who have a real problem, then nothing is going to be solved. It is easy to point a finger, hate, label and want to reject a person. I don’t use the word “child molester” because as long as a person wears that label and we continue to tell him what he is, he will continue to act out on what he is told he is. In order to change, people have to have hope, they have to have a way o…..u……t. I don’t believe in hating anyone. We are all human and we are ALL capable of evil acts. Let’s stop all the hypocritical double standard and realize until we can say, “There but for the grace of God go I,” we are part of the problem and NOT part of the solution. A person that harms children hates himself. We need to teach love and self-respect. We are all just a group of self-serving people who are SO focused on ourselves. Put yourself in the shoes of a “child molester.” Have some compassion for some pretty messed up thinking. Get out of your judgemental mind constructs. If the problem of child abuse is ever going to be solved, then we better find a way to heal the ABUSER and give him a way o….u…t. That is where the entire focus should be….healing the perpetrators. It’s just like the Islamic terrorist threat. Until we can find a way to reach the young muslim kids who are adhering to radical Islam, bombing the hell out of people isn’t going to solve anything. It keeps the cycle of violence going. Pray for “child molesters” and ask for a way to assist these tortured and troubled souls. Do you really think the path they have chosen is one a rational person would choose? So get out of your little judgemental mode and go to a higher spiritual plane and ask for some direction about how to heal the “child molesters.” I was raped by a room full of men at age 10 years old and filmed in a child pornography film. Yeah, it fucked up my life but it ALSO gave me a life filled with service to others, self-sacrifice and compassion for others. Unless you go spiritual, you lose. All the victims need to get over their unique identity and focus on the pain of the “child molesters” if you are ever going to get over it. Yeah, it was a selfish and cruel thing done to me. But shit happens in life. I have actually made a life for myself NOT based on my victimization. At one time I was filled with hate for these men, but hate destroys yourself. The desire to punish is really the whole backbone of the justice system—-that is why we have the death penalty. But that doesn’t heal the planet–killing people. I am just sick and tired of everybody bitching about something or someone. We ALL have skeletons in our closet we don’t want others to know about. The “child molesters” secrets are known to the world—at least the ones that are convicted. And what do people do to these folks? They crucify them! So the “victims” get to play their identity out and get others to feel sorry for them when in reality they need to give up their victim identity. The truth of it is no one cares that you were abused as a child so you might as well get over it and make something of your life. Do you think anyone has lost any sleep over my gang rape? No! They all had such fun! Wow! They got to fuck a child! I wanted to blow their fucking brains out. I didn’t sit in a therapist chair for ten years mentally jerking off about me being a victim however. I have lived my life in spite of the bastards. In reality, what they did to me was a hate crime. So if I hate too, then they have won. Everyone needs to get out of their self-pity and begin to forgive and focus on OTHERS. The ONLY way to get out of pain is to focus on others. It is a spiritual law. So instead of feeling sorry for the victims of child molestation begin to feel sorry for the “child molesters.” Try it the next time you read a story. Why not go down and visit the man in prison? Who is there for HIM? “If you have done this to the least of my breathen, you have done it unto me.”
Comment by nancy — June 1, 2004 @ 2:18 am
“Child Molestors” are the way they are for a reason. I think that when you find that reason you can help them. I am not going to say it is easy, because it’s not. But the only way you can help a “child molestor” stop what they are doing is by talking to them and listening. They have to be open and willing to stop what they are doing. I have advice for people who have a loved one suffering from this problem.If you want to help your loved one dont be scared of them just be there for them. Help them understand that what they are doing is wrong and has consequences. Let them know that you love them no matter what. Try to find professional help for them. dont treat them any different. Be there and support them. Try to find out why it is they have these feelings. The journey will be hard , but it will also be a worth while one.
Comment by Jeanette Espino — June 22, 2004 @ 1:47 pm
“Child Molestors” are the way they are for a reason. I think that when you find that reason you can help them. I am not going to say it is easy, because it’s not. But the only way you can help a “child molestor” stop what they are doing is by talking to them and listening. They have to be open and willing to stop what they are doing. I have advice for people who have a loved one suffering from this problem.If you want to help your loved one dont be scared of them just be there for them. Help them understand that what they are doing is wrong and has consequences. Let them know that you love them no matter what. Try to find professional help for them. dont treat them any different. Be there and support them. Try to find out why it is they have these feelings. The journey will be hard , but it will also be a worth while one.
Comment by Jeanette Espino — June 22, 2004 @ 1:47 pm
“Child Molestors” are the way they are for a reason. I think that when you find that reason you can help them. I am not going to say it is easy, because it’s not. But the only way you can help a “child molestor” stop what they are doing is by talking to them and listening. They have to be open and willing to stop what they are doing. I have advice for people who have a loved one suffering from this problem.If you want to help your loved one dont be scared of them just be there for them. Help them understand that what they are doing is wrong and has consequences. Let them know that you love them no matter what. Try to find professional help for them. dont treat them any different. Be there and support them. Try to find out why it is they have these feelings. The journey will be hard , but it will also be a worth while one.
Comment by Jeanette Espino — June 22, 2004 @ 1:47 pm