kg left this for me in the comments for my Democratic Convention Program post:
OFFICIAL 2004 REPUBLICAN NATION CONVENTION PROGRAM
6:00 pm Opening Cross Burning Ceremony (Hoods optional).
6:30 pm Prayer by the flag pole.
6:40 pm N.R.A. pigeon shoot.
7:00 pm Prayer led by Charlton Heston
7:10 pm W.M.D. scavenger hunt.
7:20 pm Prayer led by Pat Robertson. 700 club donation drive.
7:25 pm (Men only) Army of God rally. (Women only) Dishwasher Demo.
7:45 pm Prayer led by Jerry Falwell and Tinky-Winky burning.
8:00 pm Fred Phelps Gay bashing rally by the barbed wire fence.
8:25 pm Prayer led by Fred Phelps
8:30 pm Workshops: (Men only) ?WHITE POWER? (Women only)?Home schooling your Children?
9:00 pm NRA?s history of the KKK led by Trent Lott in memory of Strohm Thurman
9:30 pm Intermission
10:00 pm Cross burning ceremony no. 2 (Hoods a Must!)
10:15 pm George Bush lands in a fighter jet. (only men under 5?5? on flight deck please).
10:30 pm George Bush speech ?dow der der helldo my people, yeah well, I can hear ya?ll?!!!!!!!
10:40 pm Prayer led by Dick
10:50 pm Pledge of allegiance to Saudi Arabia led by Halliburton
11:00 pm Collect offerings for future attacks on abortion clinics
11:20 pm George Bush presents W.M.D. in France (Backup: France is better off without Chirac)
11:30 pm Enron rally led by Halliburton
11:45 pm Workshop: ?Maximizing a Police State? led By John Ashcroft
11:59 pm Prayer led by Bush
12:00 am Nomination of the Republican candidate
How soon people forget that the KKK was always a Democratic organization, and that Enron executives stayed in the Clinton White House, not Bush’s. You’d think with all the leftist comics out of work, someone would have come up with something a little funnier.