Bunker Mulligan "Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry." ~Mark Twain

April 17, 2004

Convention Program

Filed under: Politics — Bunker @ 12:21 pm

I heard about this yesterday, and received it in an email today.

2004 DNC Convention Official Program

6:00pm – Opening flag burning ceremony.
6:00pm – Opening secular prayers by Rev. Jesse Jackson and Rev. Al
Sharpton
6:30pm – Anti-war concert by Barbra Streisand.
6:40pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:00pm – Tribute theme to France.
7:10pm – Collect offerings for al-Zawahri defense fund.
7:25pm – Tribute theme to Germany.
7:45pm – Anti-war rally (Moderated by Michael Moore)
8:25pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:30pm – Terrorist appeasement workshop.
9:00pm – Gay marriage ceremony (both both male and female couples)

9:30pm – * Intermission *

10:00pm – Posting the Iraqui Colors by Sean Penn and Tim Robbins
10:10pm – Re-enactment of Kerry’s fake medal toss.
10:20pm – Cameo by Dean ‘Yeeearrrrrrrg!’
10:30pm – Abortion demonstration by N.A.R.A.L.
10:40pm – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:50pm – Pledge of allegiance to the UN.
11:00pm – Multiple gay marriage cermony (threesomes, mixed and same
sex).
11:15PM – Maximizing Welfare workshop.
11:30pm – ‘Free Saddam’ pep rally.
11:59PM – Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:00pm – Nomination of democratic candidate.

3 Comments

  1. Ha ha ha.

    Comment by Sarah — April 17, 2004 @ 4:03 pm

  2. Of course, during all this downtown Boston will be closed off.

    Comment by Geoffrey — April 18, 2004 @ 10:20 am

  3. OFFICIAL 2004 REPUBLICAN NATION CONVENTION PROGRAM

    6:00 pm Opening Cross Burning Ceremony (Hoods optional).
    6:30 pm Prayer by the flag pole.
    6:40 pm N.R.A. pigeon shoot.
    7:00 pm Prayer led by Charlton Heston
    7:10 pm W.M.D. scavenger hunt.
    7:20 pm Prayer led by Pat Robertson. 700 club donation drive.
    7:25 pm (Men only) Army of God rally. (Women only) Dishwasher Demo.
    7:45 pm Prayer led by Jerry Falwell and Tinky-Winky burning.
    8:00 pm Fred Phelps Gay bashing rally by the barbed wire fence.
    8:25 pm Prayer led by Fred Phelps
    8:30 pm Workshops: (Men only) ?WHITE POWER? (Women only)?Home schooling your Children?
    9:00 pm NRA?s history of the KKK led by Trent Lott in memory of Strohm Thurman
    9:30 pm Intermission
    10:00 pm Cross burning ceremony no. 2 (Hoods a Must!)
    10:15 pm George Bush lands in a fighter jet. (only men under 5?5? on flight deck please).
    10:30 pm George Bush speech ?dow der der helldo my people, yeah well, I can hear ya?ll?!!!!!!!
    10:40 pm Prayer led by Dick
    10:50 pm Pledge of allegiance to Saudi Arabia led by Halliburton
    11:00 pm Collect offerings for future attacks on abortion clinics
    11:20 pm George Bush presents W.M.D. in France (Backup: France is better off without Chirac)
    11:30 pm Enron rally led by Halliburton
    11:45 pm Workshop: ?Maximizing a Police State? led By John Ashcroft
    11:59 pm Prayer led by Bush
    12:00 am Nomination of the Republican candidate

    Comment by kg — April 27, 2004 @ 8:41 am

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